26 October 2012

We're all happy like this.

Hey guys! I'm back and exam's almost ending!
Three more papers, I can't wait for the holidays.
Well, I'm already like having my own holiday. :3

Finally I went to KL with my best friends!

(from left) Sylvia, Suetyin and Jieyi.


Which one do you like? HAHA LELONG!

We went to the movies and watched - The Fierce Wife ( 犀利人妻)
The title itself sounds so ganas and asuming, funny.
Well, it is funny. But never ganas. The show is kinda sad.. :\


I really wanna put the fish-eye effect on this pic HAHAHA.
We had Snowflake! HAHA OMG I damn suaku because I seldom go to shops like this. 
I was like, "What is this UFO thing?"




You mad? I'm gonna molest you. MUAHAHAH.


我想我可以习惯以个人生活.

12 October 2012

Turn up the music.

Hey guys, so yeah.
Finals started already and I don't feel stressed at all. Well, I DO, just a little bit. But what the hell, it's time to judge myself and see where do I stand in my studies.
Finals just started and I am planning on what to do after finals. Spoilt brat, I know. But hey, it's SPM next year man! Enjoy dulu!
Haha nyways, I'll update more soon, ciao!


Sometimes I feel to isolated, I wanna die.

03 October 2012

Have you ever...


So I saw this on tumblr and decided to post it up here. :3 I remember I used to do stuff like this a long time ago.
Have you ever:
1) Self harmed? 
  • no
2) Got into a real fight?
  • yes. Sort of.
3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?
  • yes
4) Tried to commit suicide?
  • no
5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
  • yes. Everyone does, no?
6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?
  • yes
7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?
  • yes
8) Accused someone of using you?
  • yes
9) Shoplifted?
  • yes. When I was 10? WHAT. It's just little glowing toys!
10) Gotten drunk/high?
  • yes
11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?
  • no
12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?
  • no. I don't play video gaes. But I do skip them for Twitter :3
(Right now) Are you:
13) Suicidal?
  • NO
14) Bored?
  • YES VERY MUCH EVEN THOUGH EXAM IS JUST 7 DAYS AWAY.
15) Avoiding someone?
  • YES
16) Avoiding some task?
  • YES
17) Depressed?
  • Kinda ?
18) Crying?
  • No
19) Annoyed with a friend?
  • yes
20) Worried and confused about something important to you?
  • yes
Do you:
21) Get depressed easily?
  • YES
22) Get jealous/envious easily?
  • i think? not
23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?
  • yeeeeeees, always
24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
  • YES
25) Try hard in all your classes at school?
  • nope
26) Go out drinking?
  • nope
27) Smoke cigarettes?
  • once only
28) Smoke weed?
  • no
29) Do any hard drugs?
  • nope.
30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?
  • -
31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?
  • Yep, Sure.
32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?
  • always..
33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?
  • no
34) Believe people deserve second chances?
  • yes
35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)
  • I think ? Yes.
36) Think things will get better?
  • Yes, there is always a rainbow after the rain so.. yeap
37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?
  • Yes, I just broke my mom’s glasses and i think imma get scolded or something.
38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)
  • it depends.. but yeah. I do. (:
Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
  • someone who’s crazy, funny, adorable,weird or just someone i feel comfortable with and can cope up with my awesomeness
39) Long hair OR short hair?
  • … OR? semi long short hair ? lol. idk any. but long is better.
40) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?
  • Smile ofcourse.
41) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?
42) Shy OR open?
  • Shy
43) Eyes OR body?
  • eyes, they are the key to the soul. bodies can be fixed through operation so yep
44) Religious OR non-religious?
  • any, a person cannot be defined by his/her beliefs.
45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?
  • half of both. i want someone who would yet wouldnt give a fuck. like she would give a fuck about me all the time yet wont strangle me that would lead me to leaving her
46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?
  • STRAIGHT EDGE
47) Piercings OR no piercings?
  • piercings, gotta have some of that
48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?
  • Depends
49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?
  • quiet stay-at-home, i like parties buuut.. i like cuddling at home
50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?
  • friends, my parents are dope but still my friends are the best
Would you:
51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?
  • i already did, and i dont want it to happen again.
52) Smoke weed?
  • NOPE
53) Smoke cigarettes?
  • never again.
54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?
  • depends, if its a big deal, then YES. but if not no. I wouldnt push off a cliff if you just stepped on my foot
55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?
  • forgiving is easy, forgetting is not. so yeah sure
56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?
  • maybe…
57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?
  • yes.
58) Join a band as a part time activity?
  • Depends
59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?
  • yes.
60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?
  • Yes. But I do understand if they're confused about my religion and stuff. Tbh, I'm a free thinker but I do believe in an universal God.
61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?
  • Probably…
62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?
  • YES
63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?
  • I do that. :x
64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?
  • maybeeee ? idk sure id talk to them but not in a way that would lead our friendship into shattering or stuff
65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?
  • yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. people have certain differencesso again, yeeeees
66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?
  • YES HAHAHA well, sometimes.
67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them put up with your problems?
  • yes.
68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?
  • no
69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?
  • no
70) Sleep naked?
  • naked as in no clothes? no. in underwear? yes. HAHAHA with boxers.
You can only choose one:
71) Black or Orange?
  • once you go orange, you never go back.
72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?
  • -
73) Cellphone or Computer?
  • cellphone. i can always go online with the use of my awesome phone
74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?
  • chocolate milk
75) Tumblr OR Friends?
  • this is a hard one… i think id rather die
76) Apple OR PC?
  • I don't know.. PC perhaps. Apple for graphics.
77) TV Shows OR Movies?
  • Movieeees, I hate waiting for the next episode of a show
78) Old bands OR new Bands?
  • old bands are still ill, so yep. old ones for sure.
79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?
  • -
80) Reading OR Listening to music?
  • Listening.
81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.
  • Pepsi, idk why but pepsi tastes better than coke. coke gives me goose bumps bec. of the taste, its like its too sweet for me or something.
82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?
  • staying, you gotta accept me for me.
83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?
  • breakdown ?
84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.
  • -
85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.
  • -
86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?
  • documentary, life’s gotta have it’s ups and downs. not everything is quite fun.
87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?
  • europe, id rather spend time at a place with a lot people than to stare at rocks
88) Shoes OR Shirts?
  • hard one.. i guess shirts.
89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?
  • -
90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.
  • stay at school, it’s better to stay cause you get to gain more knowledge which would be useful in the future.
Almost over:
91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.
  • YES, besides the dash ( - ). I've no idea who are they.
92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?
  • Yes.
93) Do you want to travel when you are older?
  • Yes, I even want to travel when im young, now.
94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?
  • NO, i think? Special someones are very special to me, dreams can be done anytime but rare people are rare
95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?
  • now that you mentioned it…
96) Rather be the opposite gender?
  • no
97) What will you name your son/daughter?
  • if it’s a boy then his name probably would be “Jr. Sean Koay ” and if it’s a girl it’s ” Monkey Jr Sean Koay ” or something with those names. (.__.)v
98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?
  • NO, im the one who rules
99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.
  • I dont think i hate a band, do you consider JB in a band ?
100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?
  • everything.

20 September 2012

Me against the world or vice versa?

There's so much of me in this picture. The old me.
I miss me being able to express my feelings with words.

19 September 2012

I've changed.

Yes, I know I’ve changed. I know I’m not the person I used to be. I miss the old me. Care free & much more happy than this. 
My patience with was high, I was so much tolerable with everything but very very fragile. Now, it’s like once you piss me off, I’m mad at everything. My tantrum got worst. Yelling & cussing. Do you think I enjoy being like that? No. I hate being like that. It’s NOT who I was. I am becoming somebody I don't want to be.
I miss me. I was me.
But you know what, I just have to deal with it, I guess. Everything that happened caused me to be like this. Don’t tell me I changed, I already know. Don’t tell me to change back to who I was. I don’t need anyone to constantly remind me, "I prefer the calmer you, not the hyped up you", & put me in guilt. (Fyi, I get hyped up if I'm comfortable with you. So.. ) We all change. You just have to accept it. I’m trying my best to get back to normal, but you know what? Shit gets to you.
I know I've said this for like the 100th time, but I AM TIRED.
Everything isn't right. I don't know if people are moulding me or I am moulding myself now. I've tried being me and be carefree but... it's not happening.

I was friends to whoever said hi to me, I was that ball of happiness, I was always smiling.
I'm weaker now, not stronger actually. The wall I built is breaking down, literally.
"You think I am happy but I'm not gonna be okay"

Been posting old pictures on Instagram today.
Man, someimes I hate seeing old pictures. The memories, the fun.

P/S: Guys, after reading this, can you all act like nothing happened? lol. 
I don't want anybody asking me about this. 
Just wanted to let things out here.


17 September 2012

KEEP GOING. KEEP GOING.

No matter how long the journey is, even if it's a 1000 miles, keep going.
It's all about the mind set. Not energy.

16 September 2012

Know your shit before you judge someone


I hate when people judge others before getting to know them first. its not right to assume someone is “bad” just because of stories you hear. It’s not right to pass judgement on someone because of the way they dress or their sexual preference. 
You won’t get to know who they are unless you get to know them at a more personal level. You wont understand this just by reading what I have to say either. The only way you will understand this is if you finally accept that no one is perfect, and you yourself is not perfect. No one is better than anyone, were all the same. We all have sinned and we all have shame. 
Now think about your best friend, the one who knows all your secrets and the one who knows you better than anyone else in your life. Now think about you and how fucked up your life is or was. If your best friend judged you based on what he/she heard then you probably wouldn’t be friends right now. or vice-versa with you judging them.
Okay now think about someone you judged once before without giving them a chance to prove themselves to you. Where are they? Most likely they are very distant and not so close to you. But that person might have someone close to them who understands them (a best friend). If you had not judged them in the first place, that best friend could have been you, and the one you judged could have been the next oprah.
my point is you will have these opportunities to meet some of the best people in your life but if all you see in them is negativity then chances are that opportunity will pass you up because you will move on without giving that person a chance. Get to know someone with your own experience and not from what you’ve heard or what you know because chances are what you know is far from the truth.

Weak or Strong


What they would forgive anything no matter what and no matter how many times they have to do it, are they considered weak or strong?

Weak because they let people walk all over them and take advantage of them or strong because no matter how many times someone fucks them over they can still manage not to let it bother them and still move on.

14 September 2012

It's scary to find someone that makes you happy

You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.

12 September 2012

Paradise.


Life's a bumpy ride. But just stay calm and steady, you'll eventally get to your goal soon enough.


\
Sometimes I wish I could just be like a crab. Dig a hole and just be alone for the rest of the day.

Life's too short to be emotional.


New things makes me happy. 




God's greatest gift to us humans. Everyone should wait for a sunset if they have a chance to.
It's wonderful.

Sometimes I wish there's another "me" to talk to. 
I've always have the problem in finding words to express how I feel.